“I am a woman now, but I really hate women sometimes”

We’ve seen before in this blog that it’s not uncommon for transgender people, especially those wanting to transition to female, to be jealous and angry at women, for having what they desperately want. Sometimes, it gets ugly.

“I am a woman now, but I really hate women sometimes“, this commenter confesses:

Another commenter in the same thread reports violating their sister’s privacy while she was asleep, in order to “know what my body should have looked like”.

“Does the jealousy ever go away“, asks this poster, who admits that their “lust for girls is completely intertwined with jealousy”:

One commenter chimes in, saying no, it actually got worse.

But maybe that’s just part of being a woman, after all, according to this commenter, “normal women are HIGHLY judgmental“:

This poster hates a 23 year old woman for having the life they always wanted, with a princess bedroom and a prom dress. Also the poster wants to “have angry, passionate sex with her”:

A woman says that this makes her uncomfortable, and another person tells her “I’d probably irrationally hate you too”.

More commenters chime in. “You’re not the only one, hon”.

This poster can’t even look at women without becoming angry:

While this poster gets filled with “sadness, jealousy, and rage” and the sight of a vagina:

A commenter reassuringly says that at least  vaginas can be avoided, while on the other hand “I get triggered every time I need the lady’s room”.

These people admit to hating women, being lustful but at the same time envious and rage-filled. They report wanting to have “angry sex” with someone and even to violating their siblings. These are people who have an obsessive, unhealthy fixation with women and women’s bodies.

Feeling urges to be mean, harm someone and take their things is normal and not bad!! Even more jealousy of women.

This poster is jealous of their female friend. What should they do? Luckily, r/asktransgender has advice:

“You might feel urges to be mean or harm this girl. You might feel urges to avoid her. You might feel urges to take things away from her. You are NOT “bad” for feeling this way!!!”

“I just get so jealous that they got AFAB [“assigned female at birth] and have never thought twice about it”. Those lucky women, they never have to think twice about being women. Except when worrying about male violence, rape, being denied access to abortion, when making less money than men for doing the same job….

“You bitch how dare you wake up in the morning as a girl”: more jealousy and anger towards women

In a previous post we saw how common it is to feel jealousy, resentment, even anger, towards women, among men who either wish to transition or are actively transitioning. There are so many examples of this that it merits a follow-up post.

“I’ve been extremely jealous of women and their bodies from about puberty“:

This poster feels confused about the difference between envy and attraction:

“Right now, I hate women, and I’m not sure why“. Also, “cis women” have it easier.

From the comments: “I taught myself to hate and fear everything feminine”. Also, being a girl is like swimming downstream.

“too many beautiful women. I hate them all“:

From the comments: “When girls flirt with me it pisses me off”.

More from the comments: “you bitch how dare you wake up in the morning as a girl with no effort”.

“Teenage girls are total bitches“:

“Severe negative emotions towards others“: This poster admits to being okay with lying, stealing, and “willfully fucking someone over”.

From the comments: “I seriously couldn’t care less if some trans woman takes people’s money to get surgery”.

More from the comments: “for some reason, I absolutely despise women”

“women can be fucking evil, pure evil“:

“I hate women because everything seems so easy for them: (this person apparently hates paragraphs too, relevant part highlighted)

Another poster confused about the difference between jealousy and attraction:

The poster goes into more detail in the comments: “it started as a fetish and progressed into wanting to live full time as a woman”.

There is more, a lot more examples all over this community. The mixing together of jealousy, resentment, anger, and sexual attraction, often with a dose of thinking that being a woman is easier than being a man. Many of these people are not in a healthy emotional place, and their views of what it is like being a woman are seriously misguided.

“Being a girl is like playing on easy mode”: jealousy of women

In previous posts in this blog we have seen how gender stereotypes play a big role in the narrative of many transitioners. Liking stereotypically feminine things or wanting long hair is seen as significant markers of internal “gender” rather than aspects of personality. There are other types of narratives that lead to someone deciding they are trans. One we will call the  sexual narrative, the other one we will call the jealousy narrative. The sexual narrative will be described in more detail in later posts.

Being jealous of women and girls is something that comes up often in the narratives of transitioners. Sometimes the jealousy focuses on physical aspects of being female, such as breasts, genitals or being “allowed” to act and dress in specific ways.

This poster even gets angry with women for being women:

Another poster assures OP that it’s common to feel this way!

Another jealous poster. (note the abundance of stereotypes in this post)

Jealousy about pregnancy:

Another poster asks, “does the jealousy ever go away“?

There is a lot of anger directed at women:

Another common cause of jealousy is that women are perceived to have it “better” or “easier”. This attitude, which is prevalent among people who call themselves “men’s rights activists”, is also not uncommon among transgender people online.

Women have it better:

Being a “pretty girl” is like playing on “easy mode”:

Male privilege is nothing, when you’re a girl people open doors for you!

Males are the ones who are oppressed, females have tons of advantages!

There are many people spending a lot of time in online trans communities who do not have an emotionally healthy or mature perspective on what it means to be female. Regardless of whether one agrees with a lot of the transgender politics, most people would agree that someone who is unable to leave the house because seeing women makes them too angry are not in a healthy place, whether they decide to transition or not.

Sexuality and Stereotypes

Notice how at no point in the responses to this post does anyone question whether this might be a sign that this person is actually just a confused or envious male.  Nope–don’t question the part that says you need hormones and surgery.  Instead, the replies chide the stereotypical view of femininity, but never question whether this person’s desire to transition is motivated by this view or worsened by it.