“Do you feel uncomfortable with yourself in some way?”

Many young teens come to the realization that they are transgender through watching videos online, particularly on YouTube. There has been a dramatic increase in young people being referred for treatment because they are transgender. The increase is so large that many people, especially parents of young trans people, are beginning to ask the question if we are witnessing the phenomenon of social contagion.

Clinic sees 20-fold increase in referrals

Number of pediatric referrals quadruple

This graph comes from an article about the rise of gender identity related referrals in the UK:

Source: The Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust

Many parents of young people tell similar stories about kids who go on YouTube binges, and end up identifying as transgender, and then go on to wanting to transition medically. This is especially common for girls. So what are they being told in these YouTube videos? Let us have a look at one example:

Partial transcript:

[1:09]: Do you feel uncomfortable with yourself in some way? (…) There must be some sort of discomfort with yourself currently. Look inside yourself and think about the times where you may have felt discomfort from hearing your birth name, from being referred as though your assigned sex, or simply feeling discomfort on wearing the clothes off your back. Those are just general examples but really look inside yourself and think back  on to the past of situations that really should have been taken as no big deal but they were taken as such and you never really knew why.

[1:42]: Have you tried experimenting outside your assigned sex? Maybe if you have an inkling that you’re trans, but you don’t know where to go from here. Try experimenting by wearing things that are not typical of your assigned sex, you know like wear T-shirts if you’ve been used to wearing dresses or something like that. (…)

[3:43]: Have you seen or are familiar with other stories of transgender people? If (…) you’re still somewhat on the fence, ah, I would definitely check out some other people’s narratives or stories, and find if you’re, if there are some that are relatable to you. Find like you identify, or you’re finding like, similar struggles with other people who are going through somewhat the same, similar struggles as you. (…) They will definitely  be helpful to you, to help you figure out whether or not you are trans

There are three points about this video that should give you pause. One, viewers are urged to comb through their memories for any discomfort they recollect, and such memories are to be taken as signs of trans-ness. No other options are even acknowledged. Two, superficial preferences like clothing are taken as proof of trans-ness. Feeling comfortable in a T-shirt is a diagnostic sign. Three, the viewer is encouraged to delve into the stories of  people with “similar struggles” to find experiences that are similar to their own. The video goes on to mention the video blogs of other trans people. This means that the viewer is encouraged to seek only confirming evidence. What if there are stories by people who felt the same way but were not actually trans? Such people certainly exist, as seen here, here and here (just a few examples), but these stories never come up in the types of videos shown here.

These YouTubers are giving young people bad advice. They mean well, but the results have chilling consequences when young people go on to medically transition based on the type of advice presented here.

“I hide my meds in my saxophone case” – self medding advice to minors

On reddit, a website where kids as young as 13 are allowed, and many are even younger, anonymous people, often adults, give minors tips on how to obtain prescription-only medication illegally, and hide it from their parents.

In this post, a 15 year old asks for advice, saying that “I have came out to my mom and she does not support me and thinks I should just stay how I was born.”

“estradiol is pretty cheap”

“Estradiol is pretty cheap,” chimes in a 44 year old adult, and provides a link to various online pharmacies where this medication can be bought. Estradiol is a medication that can increase your risk of blood clots, stroke, or heart attack, especially if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol or triglycerides, if you smoke, or if you are overweight. It is also recommended to get blood tests and physical check-ups while taking this medication, none of which a 15 year old would necessarily have access to.

In this post, reddit users are giving tips to minors on how to hide from their parents that they are taking DIY hormones (“do it yourself”, meaning without a prescription) (archived post)

tips for minors who wish to take prescription medications behind their parents’ backs

The advice comes complete with dosage advice.

In this post, a 16 year old is uncertain about starting hormones:

I am 16 and not getting any younger. I would rather get hormones sooner than later if I’m going to get them at all, and I don’t feel equipped to make that decision at 16. However, I am worried that I won’t be able to make the decision until post-puberty, which would be disadvantageous.

What is the way out of this dilemma?

One of the replies is this:

“Why would you not be equipped to make that decision at 16?” this poster asks, and continues:

“It’s almost completely certain you won’t regret it”

Another poster chimes in:

“you’ll pass worse”

Finally, the poster is convinced:

“I’m going to go bother some people about AAs”

The commenters have successfully convinced this young teen to get anti-androgens. The most common one is spirolactone, which can have side effects like  uneven heart rate, severe skin reactions, numbness, muscle weakness, vomiting, shallow breathing and confusion.

A magical pill to bypass suffering: how teens are persuaded to start transition

As ever on  reddit communities for transgendered people, young teens uncertain about themselves post, and these young teens are overwhelmingly told to start taking hormones in order to try to make their bodies resemble the oppsisite sex.

A 14 year old boy posts: “I think that I might be trans and am unsure about what to do and I need some advice.” There are two replies, none of which try to get this child to reflect on what he means by “being male”, or why he might be uncomfortable with puberty.

“Your body is in prime shape for transition”

No, instead they tell him that his body is in prime shape for transition! Implied of course, that it will not stay in prime shape forever. The commenter also assures the child that since he has been uneasy with the start of puberty, he will surely keep being uncomfortable with it. As if being weirded out with the start of puberty is some sign of illness, instead of being a completely normal experience.

In this post, a 15 year old child is told exactly how to obtain hormones without a prescription, including dosages. This commenter advices the kid to get prescribed the medications he wants under false pretenses. (Archive link for the entire post)

“High blood pressure”

Another 15 year old wants to know how to go behind his parents’ backs and obtain prescription medications illegally.

Today my parents said some things that make me unable to come out to them. The problem is Im 15 and need thier consent for treatment.

How can I get hrt without my parents consent. I know diy is dangerous, but it isn’t a choice. It’s something I need to do. The thoughts of how I’m getting more masculine each day are eating me away on the inside.

So whats the safest way to diy. Also what dosege should I use.

Some of the replies:

“Get on hormones now”

“DIY is almost harmless”

More advice on how to obtain medications illegally

“Pressure your mother by telling her how hard your life will be”

If you wait, you will lose thousands of dollars, your life will be stressful and you will have a hard time finding love

Calling hormones “magical pills”

Yet another 15 year old, asking what the appropriate age to start hormones is. And the replies:

Another teen, this time a 17 year old, posts.

Is waiting six months going to harm my transition in any significant way, or is it a good decision to just wait half a year?

And there are plenty of replies urging him to start as soon as possible.

Even though there are a few voices of dissent, the majority of the replies to these young teens tell them that they should look into hormones, and it is not difficult to get very concrete advice on how to obtain them, often illegally. Very rarely do the commenters talk about other possible explanations for the feelings these teens have.

Another young person, this one in her early twenties, asks for advice here.

I first came out in 2011 but being ‘trans’ still seems surreal to me. As a child I was mostly indifferent to gender and don’t think I understood it well, I climbed trees, played with chemistry sets and built things. The feelings began roughly after puberty, around 13, when I began developing breasts, hips and a menstrual cycle. It was at this point I was diagnosed with major depression and put on Prozac. I immediately noticed that the menstrual cycle felt un natural and it still does. I felt very uncomfortable having breasts and wore clothing to conceal them and my hips. I starved myself so that my figure was more boyish. I was jealous of guys, thinking I would feel so much happier in that body. Looking at my face, I felt extremely ugly. I felt like a dude in makeup with a face that was neither quite male or female. I also have no ‘maternal instinct’ whatsoever. I find babies sort of cute, but that’s it. I have no drive to reproduce.

(…)

My teenage years were depressing, mostly due to my distraction with my physical appearance and illness. I avoided mirrors like the plague. I also disliked my name because it’s super feminine, but feel better when people use the short form (which is masculine). I feel much more comfortable wearing clothes for men and not wearing makeup. In 2011 my GP dx’d me with GD but I still ask myself if I really am trans and I feel scared of what I’m going to do to myself. When I imagine my face and body looking masculine, I feel happier about it, and more confident. According to my digit ratios I was exposed to very high testosterone levels while I was developing as my ring finger is almost an inch longer than my index finger.

A young woman who has struggled with depression, eating disorders, and who dislikes gendered stereotypes and makeup. Conclusion: trans, must immediately undergo radical body modifications.

Some choice replies:

No one asks about her getting treatment for depression, or eating disorders. No one talks about how it’s possible to be a masculine woman, how it’s possible to prefer men’s clothing and no makeup even as a woman.

This is the state of many online transgendee communities. People, often adults, willing to give medical advice, telling teenagers and children that they should start this medical treatment as soon as possible, and that the consequences of not doing so is losing money, not being beautiful, having difficulties finding friends and partners. Telling them that hormones are magic pills. Never telling anyone to wait, to question their motives, to listen to their parents. It’s very frightening.

 

Why drive a mercedes when you could be driving a bentley?” On inducing gender dysphoria

The story we so often hear is that trans people suffer from dysphoria: a feeling of anxiety and depression because of the physical sex of their bodies or some aspects of it. This dysphoria is often cited as the reason that any aspect of transgenderism cannot be questioned. Whether it’s questioning why one’s mind has to “match” ones body, whether it is right to give young kids puberty blockers or hormones, or whether people with intact penises should have access to female changing rooms and other sex-segregated facilities, it is always met with cries of how difficult life is for this marginalized group, so one better not ask any critical questions.

If you look closer, the view that dysphoria is a necessary part of being transgender is now largely seen as obsolete. The new rule is that anyone who wants to be trans, is trans. Anyone who wants to be a woman, is a woman. (There is not 100% agreement on this in the trans community, and often the ones who want dysphoria to be a criterion are called “truscum”)-

“If I don’t have dysphoria but still enjoy the idea of being a woman rather than a man, what does that make me?”, asks this poster.

The commenters tell him not to worry – if having a feminine body would make you pleased, then that is a valid reason to transition.

“I never have any real dysphoria“, states another poster. That’s not a problem. If you feel trans, you’re trans.

If we accept this, then transgenderism is more along the lines of extreme body modification than anything else. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with getting body mods. Lots of people do, for various reasons. But is deciding to be trans actually making people happier? Let’s dig deeper.

“My dysphoria didn’t start until I started transition”, says yet another commenter, So much for transition being  the only cure to an otherwise incurable condition – apparently it can also be the cause of dysphoria.

Another person who triggered dysphoria by starting to transition:

Even more people chiming in talking about how transition actually caused them to have dysphoria:

Huh. It’s almost as it trying to completely change your body and self-perception in ways that are actually at odds with reality can make you feel worse, not better.

And sure enough, a couple of other commenters chime in. “If you don’t have dysphoria now, you will when you realize all the things about your body that prevent you from looking more female”.

Ans that’s the crux, isn’t it? Human beings can’t actually change sex.You can get body modifications that will make you look more similar to the opposite sex, and that might make other people think you are the opposite sex and treat you like the opposite sex. But if you have convinced yourself that you want to actually be the other sex, then that goal is bound  to cause distress.

“Is it possible to be transgender without having gender dysphoria?“, asks yet another poster, and makes a car analogy:

Yet again commenters assure the poster that dysphoria will come….

…and that transition will make it worse:

When discussing transgenderism and its implications, people should inform themselves about what this phenomenon actually is. For some people it entails discomfort with their physical bodies, and sometimes quite acute distress. Some try to explain this distress by claiming to have been “born in the wrong body”, that they have “the brains of the opposite sex” or that their “body maps” are faulty. This is the interpretations of people suffering distress, and should be taken with a grain of salt (note: we are not saying that their distress isn’t real, but that their explanations of why they are distressed is not necessarily accurate). The truth is that no one knows what causes sex dysphoria.

For other transpeople, their “condition” is simply a desire for “boobs and smooth skin”. For many it has a strong sexual and fetishistic nature. For others it is rooted in jealousy.

What it is not, is a single phenomenon that is even close to being understood. And for some people, the “cure” is actually part of the problem.