Is there such a thing as “autogynephilia”?

Is there such a thing as “autogynephilia”, that is, sexual arousal at the thought of being a woman? The transgender community online adamantly assures each other there is no such thing:

“a made-up thing from Ray Blanchard”

“It is not AGP, because AGP does not exist”

Both screenshots above are from this thread, in which a poster wants to know why his therapist is asking questions about his desire to transition to a woman. Note how the second comment tells the original poster to ditch the therapist who is asking questions, and find someone who will go along with the desire to transition.

There is a great reluctance in the trans community towards the concept that some male people can feel arousal at the thought of themselves as being women. Considering that there are a plethora of different fetishes, people are aroused at pretty much anything from rubber boots to trees, it seems odd to claim that such a thing as autogynephilia does not even exist.

The assertions that AGP does not exist pop up in any discussion where someone is questioning whether they are actually transgender or are experiencing a sexual fetish, like this one.

“those things don’t actually exist”

“Has anyone punched Ray Blanchard lately?”

Denial that AGP exists, together with encouraging physical violence towards the researcher who described it, and implications that he should not be able to get work because his research is unpopular with transgender people.

It is curious also, that there are online communities of self-identified autogynephiles, who happily post away about their fetish and related fantasies, apparently oblivious to the fact that they do not exist (WARNING: links lead to sexually explicit websites).

Posters who identify themselves as transgender very often talk about the sexual component to their transgender identification. In this thread, the following is posted and then deleted:

“I stole the swimsuit and wore it for masturbatory purposes”

In another thread, one poster discusses pretending to be a woman when masturbating, then gradually escalating:

pretending to be a woman during masturbation

In yet another thread, the poster talks frankly about the sexual motivations for wanting to transition:

“sex is probably the biggest driving factor that makes me want to transition”

Yet other posters talk about how arousing it is to wear women’s underwear:

“when I wear them I get semi-erect”

“I get very turned on with the thought of being a girl”, this poster writes, and is reassured that this is normal:

“Picturing what I will look like really turns me on”

Does anyone else get really turned on checking themselves out in the mirror? asks yet another poster. Among the replies is someone who is aroused by stockings, and someone who masturbates to their own nudes:

“I just need stockings”

“I jack it to my own nudes”

Another poster is worried about excessive masturbation:

“ever since puberty I’ve been obsessed with sissy hypno and forced fem”

With one exception, the comments are all about how taking hormones will decrease the poster’s libido. It is not brought up how this young person’s extreme porn consumption might have affected his sexuality and identity.

Finally, let us close this already long post with this post, wherein the poster describes arousal at being called a female name:

“I just get hard for some reason”

“I just get hard for some reason”. We will let those words stand for themselves, and the readers can make up their own minds regarding the existence of autogynephilia.

“Transgender people kill themselves for less” – 16 year old girl is advised to buy her brother panties so he won’t kill himself

A 16 year old girl posts in reddit’s community TwoXChromosomes, asking for advice because she has found out that her 18 year old brother is stealing her underwear. (Archived link)

I was doing my laundry today (my parents make us do our own) and my brother had his in the dryer and left before it was done. I needed to use the dryer so I took his stuff out and when I was throwing it in his drawer for him something caught my eye and I looked and it was some of my underwear that had gone “missing.” I’m really disturbed and creeped out that he took it. What should I do? I left it there for now but I’m not sure what to do. Should I talk to him first? Or maybe my parents? Please help!

An adult male who in other comments claims to have been crossdressing for 35 years, who states that “wearing lipstick is my fetish” comes to offer advice!

Listen! DO NOT talk to your parents. I’m a guy who has not worn men’s underwear in decades. I’m a crossdresser. He probably wears them when he’s out of the house or is confident no one will find out.

Do this. Go to Walmart and buy him a package of three panties in the style he borrowed from you. Take your panties out of his drawer and replace them with the new package. Say nothing.

He has no comfortable way of buying his own so he stole yours. If in the future he stops borrowing your panties, you know he almost certainly is crossdressing. It’s harmless. Really. If he still borrows your panties, he probably has a fetish and then you tell him to stop using your things. If this was just some misunderstanding, he will ask what in the hell you are doing.

Keep your parents out of this. Transgender people kill themselves for less. Even if your parents are cool with it, the fact that they know and you told on him will destroy relationships forever.

A 16 year old girl is supposed to keep it a secret that her adult brother is stealing her underwear, and spend her own money to buy underwear for him because otherwise he might kill himself.

The 16 year old then posts to r/asktransgender (archived link), because after confronting her brother, he admitted to stealing the underwear because he is transgendered.

Again she is advised to buy her brother underwear and clothes so the brother doesn’t “have to” steal.

More commenters urging her to buy underwear for her brother:

“Contrary to what a lot of people on the r/TwoX[1] post said, these aren’t masturbation aids for him”, the same commenter assures OP. That is quite a claim, considering that r/asktransgender is FULL of posters talking about stealing their female relatives’ underwear and using them “for sexual purposes”.

“I’ve sometimes gone into my sister’s closet and tried on some of her clothes. Sometimes, it’s for sexual reasons”

“…wearing my step-mum’s lingerie when she is not home. (…) there is usually a sexual aspect”

“a lot of my feelings are tied in with being sexually excited while wearing womens clothing”

“Whenever I think about transitioning it usually gives me an erection, the same happens if I’m looking at makeup videos on Youtube or wearing women’s clothes.”

“I’ve had experiences of wearing women’s clothing and imagining myself as a girl or woman throughout most of my life. I’d usually just do it in secret for short bursts, and as I got older those periods would coincide with me masturbating.”

“My first experience with cross gender activity came from wearing my friend’s sister’s underwear (out of a dare or sorts) at around age 10. I took the pair home and idolized it. This spread to searching for more feminine clothing from my sister and mom (and my cousin when she lived with my mom).”

What kind of advice do these panty masturbators receive?

“This type of fetish is [a] really common way to express repressed dysphoria”

“its common for trans people to start out in early like fetishizing”

“I used to get arouse as well cross dressing or even thinking about it”

“I am a trans woman, but pre transitioning womens clothes, makeup, all those things turned me on.”

It’s probably safe to say that the original poster’s brother is masturbating in her underpants. And the solution to this is for the 16 year old girl to keep it a secret from their parents, and spend her own money on underwear for her brother, because otherwise he might kill himself. 

“Did sissy porn make me trans?”

Many people who come to think of themselves as transgender, start out watching large amounts of pornography. Two of the most common types are called “sissy porn” and “forced feminization” or “forced sissification”.  Some of these types of porn have “hypno” videos where the viewer is supposed to be “hypnotized” into becoming a woman. One popular site has the following text next to one of the videos:

You love cum. You want to be a girl. Being girly is what you really want. Admit to yourself that you are a girl and go ahead and do something about it. The world is different now. Being openly sissy is acceptable. The number of sissies globally is amazing and growing all the time. Forget about being a man. Embrace the real you. You are a sissy bimbo cumslut. You know you cannot settle with just one cock. You have to have many partners. You don’t care about the risks. You are addicted. You cannot stop. Cock is your life and like McDonald’s, you’re loving it.

For the men who watch these types of porn videos, “being a girl” is a sexual fetish, and it has nothing to do with actually being female. It is a type of BDSM porn where they get turned on by being forced to do degrading things. And for a great number of men, the most degrading thing of all is being a woman.

It is not uncommon for these men to start to question their gender.

Did sissy porn make me trans or was I trans all a long?, asks a poster to r/asktransgender.

I have always been attracted to men as long as I can remember. In particular, I have always been attracted to black men. After a while, I got bored of gay porn and started watching porn with transgender women in it. I started imagining myself in her position. About 3 years ago, I discovered sissy hypno videos, which in a nutshell are flashing subjective images telling you to wear panties, be girly, suck cock, and even take hormones. I became completely obsessed with these videos. Nothing got me off like these. It got to the point where I started wearing panties and imagining myself as a girl when I would masturbate. I personally think these videos just helped me realize that I am transgender. I never felt comfortable being a man. Before I hit puberty I was super androgynous and always enjoyed spending time with girls more than boys. I have never been able to enjoy sex and I think this is due to me being in the wrong body. I have had sex a handful of times and was not able to become aroused (even though they were studly men).

One month later, after two therapy sessions, the same poster is being advised by their therapist to start hormones. Note the references to suicide, both in therapy sessions, and in conversations with the poster’s mother.

Commenters express concern that the therapist is moving rather fast with recommending hormones, and the OP replies:

Turns out the therapist isn’t even seeing their clients in real life, just over webcamera.

One month after that, hormones are acquired:

Did anybody masturbate to transgender porn before they realized they were trans?, asks another poster, and the overwhelming answer is “yes”.

This commenter admits that porn was the motivation for wanting to transition.

A teenager is confused about sexuality and identity.

At 15-16 I discovered “traps” and transgenders, and found myself incredibly fascinated with and attracted to MtF transgenders (and feminine/androgynous males). I then found sissy hypno/forced-feminisation porn and was incredibly turned on by it and indulged in it ALOT. Around this age I also began to have this distinct/recurring thought of: “I wish I was a girl”, but without really knowing why. I began to feel a sort of split inside me: as if I had a male side which was masculine/dominant, and a female side which was feminine/submissive.

At 16-17 my porn addiction grew and I was spending alot of time on webcam sites. At one point I remember cutting up some of my t-shirts to shape them into skirts and wearing them (in private and on cam), as I was way too scared to buy girls clothes. On computer games I enjoyed having female characters and pretending to be a girl (on Second Life especially).

From 17 onwards, things were difficult. I continued being turned on by mostly straight, transgender and sissy porn. This sense of having a ‘boyside’ and ‘girlside’ became more clear. I began to accept that I was bisexual in the sense that I’m totally into girls (romantically and sexually), yet still have a sexual attraction to guys (but not romantic, I don’t see myself dating guys). I knew I had a porn addiction, which was causing problems (staying up late, insomnia, not studying). I thought that sissy hypno was the reason for me wanting to be a girl, and began trying to quit watching porn and repress the entire feminine side of myself and focus on being a normal guy. The stress of exams, insomnia and my inability to quit porn led to severe depression (I was diagnosed and prescribed antidepressants but didn’t take them). This went on for 1.5 years, in which time I seriously considered buying make-up/clothes online but didn’t, and made craigslist ads wanting to meet up with guys but didn’t.

After over 1.5 years of complete hell, I got to a somewhat healthy point where I was no longer depressed, exercising, getting good sleep, etc. I was still addicted to porn though and unable to figure out my sexuality/gender. I believed that sissy hypno was the only thing causing me to want to be a girl. I researched alot about porn addiction and nofap, and decided that if after 90 days of nofap (no porn or masturbating), I still felt the urge to be a girl, then I probably had gender issues and would address them.

Fast forward to now. I’m on my 18th day of no porn or masturbation, I’m getting good sleep, working out, not depressed, trying to just move on and be secure as a straight male at uni. I’m studying to become a teacher and really want to get a girlfriend this year (and eventually a wife/kids). Yet there’s still a part of me that wants to be a girl. I have no interest in stereotypically masculine things like sports/cars, I enjoy writing/reading (dream job is to be a novelist – fantasy/adventure/romance genres), I’ve imagined myself being comfortable as a female teacher. Often when I see attractive girls, I simultaneously want to have sex with her as a guy and actually be her.

I should note, when I look in the mirror I feel somewhat conflicted. Part of my loves my slender, almost feminine physique, and wants to be more feminine. Another part of me wants to workout and look more like a man (to be more attractive to girls more than anything else).

If I had a button which could make me a girl permanently, would I press it? Yes, without hesitating. If I had the option of being a father or a mother, which would I choose? At the moment, a father. But I’ve never experienced life as a girl so I don’t know. I’m trying to decide whether I should buy some make-up and girls clothes online, at least just to try it, see how it feels and see how I would look, then decide from there. But every time I consider it, I think about how impossible it would be – how everyone in my life would react. I’m really unsure about everything. From reading all of this, what do you think? Could I be transgender or bigender? Or just a male who has been influenced by sissy hypnosis/forced feminisation fetishes? Please help!

A severe porn addiction and depression that has lasted for years. Sterotypical views of what “being a girl” means (make-up and clothes seems to be the most important aspects). And this poster thinks that staying away from porn for a little over two weeks is enough to erase the influence it has had. Commenters are quick to chime in with “you sound trans”:

Two months later, it seems that the OP has decided they might indeed be transgendered.

Yet another poster is confused about what role porn has played for them:

And another:

I’ll try to keep this as succinct as possible but bear with me cuz this is bound to take a bit of text. Anyway, backdrop first I am a 25 yo guy in a nearly 3 yr relationship & I do legitimately love this girl. Lately, however, I’ve been struggling with what i suppose is gender dysphoria. I’m struggling to figure out if this is rooted solely in a sexual fetish of some sort… or perhaps a symptom of something deeper I am subconsciously trying to suppress. I have been into sissy/tg porn now for awhile, and it has been pretty much the standard for the past two years for me to imagine being in the female role whenever I masturbate. When I am with my gf though, it is just about us I am the guy she is the girl.. my mind doesn’t really go elsewhere except very rarely. I have always considered this being something I could compartmentalize into being nothing more than a sexual proclivity I indulged myself on my alone time. However, now I’m not so sure…

This poster has a “sissy/feminization fetish”, and it has led to gender confusion:

He writes:

I can’t remember feeling any sort of gender confusion before I discovered this fetish (but that doesn’t mean I never did, I just can’t remember). Sometimes I feel like (since the brain is plastic after all) the dopamine release associated with my fetish has rewired my sexual preferences and possibly even my true gender.

He is also distressed by this turn of events and wants to rid himself of his fetish.

As transgenderism keeps becoming more mainstream, and more and more places are codifying into law that “identity” and not biological sex is supposed to be the determining factor for the use of sex-segregated facilities, it is important to talk about this phenomenon. Why are we not hearing more about these stories in the media? Why, when we hear talk of transgender people, are we always told that this has nothing to do with sexuality, but rather with some abstract identity? Could it be that it is because what we have seen in this post is less palatable to the public? We can assure you that this phenomenon is not at all uncommon. The posts you have seen here are a fraction of what can be found online written by males who after years of heavy porn consumption start to “feel female”.

Schrodinger’s trans: sexual fetish or transgender

Being transgender is often portrayed as having some sort of essence of the opposite sex, being the opposite sex in the mind or brain. We are also told that “gender identity” has nothing to do with sexuality. Why is it then, that there are so many people for whom being seen as a woman is sexually gratifying and stimulating?

This person likes airing their penis in women’s dressing rooms:

This person feels aroused at the thought of being female, while at the same time disliking women because “they were the center of attention”. He’s unsure whether he’s trans or not.

This person has a “transformation fetish“:

This charming person, who we’ve already seen in a previous post, is “completely a boy” in his head, because he likes video games and cars, but he wants a female body so that he can be “dominated and fucked in bed“:

This fellow gets a weird happy feeling and an erection whenever thinking about being the opposite gender:

This person gets erections from wearing skirts:

Why are so many male people confusing being aroused by something and wanting to become that thing? Why are nobody questioning these motivations? Are most women comfortable sharing locker rooms and other facilities with people who by their own admission gets so turned on they have to masturbate just by “feeling female”?

“I feel like it takes me effort to act ‘masculine’. Am I transgender?”

Is it even possible to come to communities like r/asktransgender as a questioning person and be told that you are in fact, not transgender? Let us take a look at this post:

I feel like I’ve always wanted to be a woman for a very very long time. I always felt different from other people, and I didn’t feel necessarily “masculine” or anything like that. Didn’t understand the whole macho thing growing up either, wasn’t very sporty.

I watched a shitton of porn from an early age growing up, so I’m not sure if this fucked me up or just exacerbated everything, but I could always remember wanting to be a woman. I’m highly attracted to women – I LOVE them… they are so beautiful. And I was so envious. I would imagine things like “if I were a woman, I would do x, y and z” etc… I would try on some of my mom’s underwear and liked it. I still have the desire to do that.

I look at women and I love them so much. But I always feel this jealousy, like they are just the ideal “kind of human” to be. If you could be anyone, you should want to be a woman. I love how they look, how they are, and I feel like I just want to act feminine so badly. I want to wear makeup. I want to make myself look pretty and wear girl’s clothes. I want to feel sexy. All these things. Maybe that isn’t representative of the ENTIRETY of being a woman, but it’s how I feel.

Might come off as an asshole here, and I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I’m just trying to get my feelings out: I feel like guys are losers. I don’t like guys. They are gross, they aren’t beautiful or attractive; I don’t understand the preoccupation of being macho or something (I know not all guys are like this, but I’m just trying to explain that I don’t understand how your “typical guy” acts and why they do that). I feel like it takes me effort to act “masculine”. I’ve gotten kinda good at it, but lately all these thoughts about being a woman and being transgender have been popping into my head. I fear I’m really suppressing this stuff and that scares me.

Post is long enough, I guess I’m done for now. Does anyone have any thoughts? Am I transgender? Do I just want to be a woman, but I don’t have actual dysphoria or anything like that? I’m not sure if I FEEL like I’m a woman, but I feel like I want to BE one, or I’d love to become one. Is that the same thing as being transgender? I feel a bit better talking about this, but it still freaks me out. Please help.

Feeling “different”, not being interested in acting stereotypically masculine, not liking sports, wanting to be beautiful and sexy. Admits to watching a lot of porn and feels unsure how this has affected him. Note that he says that he doesn’t have dysphoria about his body, he just wants to be what he imagines women to be (sexy, beautiful etc).

The comments?

“We can’t tell you what to do, but you’re totally trans”

“One of us, one of us!”

A single voice of dissent, urging the poster to reflect on what it is about women that makes him feel the way he does, and learning to love himself. And it’s downvoted:

Learning to be happy with yourself the way you are is so old-fashioned, this is 2015, where in order to be “yourself” you need medical procedures!

“Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” Sexual fetishism in the trans community

Online transgender groups are quick to assure people that there is absolutely nothing sexual about being trans. Gender identity and sexuality are completely separate, the narrative usually goes.

“Is it normal to get erect when doing girly things?” asks a poster in r/asktransgender.

“Oh, yeah, totally normal”.

“Does anyone else get erect when passing as a girl?”

Don’t worry, OP, that’s normal!

“I get erections when I wear female clothing, oh and I want to use my penis to penetrate my girlfriend”

This poster worries that he has a fetish, but the commenters are quick to shoot this down. There is no such thing as “autogynephilia” (a sexual fetish for seeing oneself as a woman), they say. In fact, it’s normal for women to get turned on from sexy clothes!

If you read around in places like r/asktransgender, you will see that people there are very quick to shot down the idea that there is any sexual element to wanting to transition from male to female. What you will also see, however, is a lot of posts from people coming into the sub, talking about having sexual feelings about seeing themselves as women, and worrying that their desire to transition is not rooted in some deep-seated identity, but in sexual motives.

“It turns me on to wear female clothes and imagine myself as a girl”

“Is it possible to tuck without getting aroused?”

Feeling constantly aroused when wearing female clothes:

“My second most worry is what role porn plays in all of this.”

It is also interesting to notice that almost all of these stories of sexual arousal when “cross-dressing” come from males. Where are the females feeling aroused by wearing pants and binding their chests?

Special Edition: Sissies, Fetishists, and Kinksters

How often in media stories about MTF trans people using public accommodations for women do we see the same basic narrative: trans people have always felt these feelings for a long time, their feelings are not sexual or fetishistic, this isn’t a way to let sick or twisted men into women’s spaces.  Indeed, for most trans people, this is undoubtedly the case, but the problem lies in saying that there are no trans-identified people intent on using women’s spaces for fetishistic purposes.

You can see the result of this thinking in media coverage the current Planet Fitness case. The “trans woman” at the center of the Planet Fitness situation, “Carlotta Sklodowska,” is a male-identified fetishist who adopted a creepy, racist pseudo-Eastern European woman accent on his Facebook and liked posting objectifying, ultra-sexualized comments on fitness photos of women. Women are portrayed as crazy harpies for daring to warn other women about someone who is a serious creep.  Even though several actual transgender people, including Zoey Tur, specifically said that this person was a fetishistic crossdresser and not trans (and therefore shouldn’t have been protected by transgender protection policies or laws), those trans people have been told to shut up by prominent activists and have had their roles as media spokespeople called into question.

But is the distinction between a trans-identifying person and a fetishist always so clear?  When women are being told worldwide that we must accept XY-chromosomed, fully fertile people with penises in our changing rooms, we need to know whether the narrative of “this isn’t sexual, I just need to pee” is really all there is to it.

We here at Transgender Reality decided to investigate.

In this post, one transgender-identified male asks how he can stop having erections every time he dresses like a woman in public.  The overwhelming response by the community?

Dress as a woman more, and it’ll probably get better.  So this is one thing women can expect to be dealing with in the months and years to come: men dressing as women and entering women’s spaces deliberately to “desensitize” themselves to their sexual feelings.  Is this a service women should be required to provide to men–validation of their “woman-ness” even as they stand there with their erections simply from wearing “female clothes”?  Is the accommodation of these men through their desensitization process something all women and girls should be subjected to?

For that matter, how long is the average desensitization period?  Women need to know these things, since we are now supposed to accept the “trans woman” experience as female.  If this is so normal, talk more about it, trans activists.  How many weeks, months, years will you be getting erections when you put on a bra or enter a changing room?

In case you wonder whether this is common, here are a few links to sort you out.  In each link, the comments talk about just how common this is.  No one says “this is vile, you’re not a real trans person, get out.”  So in case you had any illusions about the trans community policing its own, and making sure that only people who just feel very sad about not having the opposite sex’s body get to use opposite sex facilities, rather than allowing fetishists as well, think again.

Whether you’re too turned on by women’s pajamas to even fall asleep:

Or believe that all women’s vaginas are for is to be “fucked hard” on a “regular basis”:

Or obsessively look at women’s pelvic areas to see if you can determine what kind of underwear they’re wearing, all while feeling jealousy and resentment (bonus: this man’s wife was 3 months pregnant with their first child at the time when he wrote this!):

Or you wake up in the middle of the night to pee, see your reflection and get hard:

Note how this person acknowledges that he has a fetish, and feels like he’s being “a girl” for the wrong reasons. What  advice does he receive? That his happiness is the only thing that matters, even when he admits getting “so turned on he’s scared”:

Being constantly turned on by “wearing pretty girl clothes” is great! And apparently the purpose of pronouns is sexual gratification:

Keep doing what you’re doing, but keep your penis!

Or how about  this guy, who wonders if watching “sissy porn” made him think he was transgender:

Or how about this person, who wants to be “pinned down and raped”, “forced to suck cock”, and “get caged and turned into a sexy little fuck-cow”, and who states that his fetishes are all “directly related to me becoming a girl”.

No worries though, the commenters assure him, most women have these fantasies, it’s totally common!

These are the people women are supposed to be okay with sharing bathrooms and dressing rooms with, and if someone complains they must be a horrible transphobe. Disclaimer: nobody is saying that all, or even most, trans people are this way. But some definitely are, by their own admission. And we’re apparently not allowed to point this out, without being called TERFs, transphobic, or bigots. And women are apparently not allowed to be skeptical about sharing private spaces with people who get so turned on they’re “scared” by any kind of “female” items or settings, even by female pronouns.