“Transgender people kill themselves for less” – 16 year old girl is advised to buy her brother panties so he won’t kill himself

A 16 year old girl posts in reddit’s community TwoXChromosomes, asking for advice because she has found out that her 18 year old brother is stealing her underwear. (Archived link)

I was doing my laundry today (my parents make us do our own) and my brother had his in the dryer and left before it was done. I needed to use the dryer so I took his stuff out and when I was throwing it in his drawer for him something caught my eye and I looked and it was some of my underwear that had gone “missing.” I’m really disturbed and creeped out that he took it. What should I do? I left it there for now but I’m not sure what to do. Should I talk to him first? Or maybe my parents? Please help!

An adult male who in other comments claims to have been crossdressing for 35 years, who states that “wearing lipstick is my fetish” comes to offer advice!

Listen! DO NOT talk to your parents. I’m a guy who has not worn men’s underwear in decades. I’m a crossdresser. He probably wears them when he’s out of the house or is confident no one will find out.

Do this. Go to Walmart and buy him a package of three panties in the style he borrowed from you. Take your panties out of his drawer and replace them with the new package. Say nothing.

He has no comfortable way of buying his own so he stole yours. If in the future he stops borrowing your panties, you know he almost certainly is crossdressing. It’s harmless. Really. If he still borrows your panties, he probably has a fetish and then you tell him to stop using your things. If this was just some misunderstanding, he will ask what in the hell you are doing.

Keep your parents out of this. Transgender people kill themselves for less. Even if your parents are cool with it, the fact that they know and you told on him will destroy relationships forever.

A 16 year old girl is supposed to keep it a secret that her adult brother is stealing her underwear, and spend her own money to buy underwear for him because otherwise he might kill himself.

The 16 year old then posts to r/asktransgender (archived link), because after confronting her brother, he admitted to stealing the underwear because he is transgendered.

Again she is advised to buy her brother underwear and clothes so the brother doesn’t “have to” steal.

More commenters urging her to buy underwear for her brother:

“Contrary to what a lot of people on the r/TwoX[1] post said, these aren’t masturbation aids for him”, the same commenter assures OP. That is quite a claim, considering that r/asktransgender is FULL of posters talking about stealing their female relatives’ underwear and using them “for sexual purposes”.

“I’ve sometimes gone into my sister’s closet and tried on some of her clothes. Sometimes, it’s for sexual reasons”

“…wearing my step-mum’s lingerie when she is not home. (…) there is usually a sexual aspect”

“a lot of my feelings are tied in with being sexually excited while wearing womens clothing”

“Whenever I think about transitioning it usually gives me an erection, the same happens if I’m looking at makeup videos on Youtube or wearing women’s clothes.”

“I’ve had experiences of wearing women’s clothing and imagining myself as a girl or woman throughout most of my life. I’d usually just do it in secret for short bursts, and as I got older those periods would coincide with me masturbating.”

“My first experience with cross gender activity came from wearing my friend’s sister’s underwear (out of a dare or sorts) at around age 10. I took the pair home and idolized it. This spread to searching for more feminine clothing from my sister and mom (and my cousin when she lived with my mom).”

What kind of advice do these panty masturbators receive?

“This type of fetish is [a] really common way to express repressed dysphoria”

“its common for trans people to start out in early like fetishizing”

“I used to get arouse as well cross dressing or even thinking about it”

“I am a trans woman, but pre transitioning womens clothes, makeup, all those things turned me on.”

It’s probably safe to say that the original poster’s brother is masturbating in her underpants. And the solution to this is for the 16 year old girl to keep it a secret from their parents, and spend her own money on underwear for her brother, because otherwise he might kill himself. 

“You’ll be miserable and unhappy with your body for the rest of your life”

This post shows a few more examples of young teens coming to online transgender communities and being convinced to take hormones and/or puberty blockers.

A 16 year old boy who has been questioning his gender makes a post, stating that “even when I was young, characters in the games I played and protagonists in my imaginary stories and worlds were almost always female”, and that he wants to be “a social, somewhat nerdy, somewhat scene, girl who is tomboyish in attitude but not in looks”. He also plans to “get more into fashion and socialize a lot more” as a girl.

The commenters jump in to stress the importance of immediately transitioning:

“If you won’t do it you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Yes, seriously don’t wait! (…)  it’s best to start as soon as you can. These feelings will never go away”. Note that the commenter in the above screenshot is twice the age of the poster.

“Puberty ends around 17. If you don’t do it when you’re young. You’ll be miserable and unhappy with your body for the rest of your life.”

Less than a month later, the same kid posts this: Getting told to wait until 18, don’t know if I can survive that long

Another poster, confused and distressed, asks “I want to be female so much but is that even possible?”

And is told that yes, it is possible:

“What is there to be afraid of? You’ll be way cuter after HRT. (…) The longer you exist without HRT, the more your body’s natural testosterone will fuck you up. So don’t be afraid of it, embrace it!”

In this post, another 16 year old wants to know how to get medications to halt puberty, and receives advice regarding specific subreddits, as well as concrete advice on how to order and obtain packages with a PO box, as well as offers to chat via PM:

And finally, yet another 16 year old looking for advice on obtaining hormones, behind parents’ backs. In this comment chain a person twice their age offers advice, and ends the conversation by asking “mind if I PM you?”

This is what trans people are saying online. This is what happens to kids who stumble onto “helpful” adults online.

Contradictions in transgender theory part 2: Schrödinger’s socialization

Are there any differences between transwomen and women? Not according to many online trans activists. Trans women are women! they say, and declare that penises can be female and vulvas can be male, as we saw in a previous post.

Feminists have pointed out that even if some people born with penises go on to call themselves women and “live as women”, whatever this means, they still have grown up as men, and received male socialization. This means they are likely more aggressive, more assertive, and more confident. Their male socialization makes women wary of them, because many women have very negative experiences with people who have been socialized male.

Their male socialization also means that they often have had an advantage early in life, because males are socialized to be more confident, take up more room, and to develop their skills in traditionally “male” areas.

This idea is however ridiculed by many trans activists. We see an example here:

“Transwomen internalize female socialization”, this person states. Anyone who identifies as female internalize female socialization, is the claim. The same claim is found in the webcomic “Assigned male” shown below. “Trans women don’t benefit from male socialization” it says, and explains that “as girls, they learn toxic things about femininity too”.

The claim seems to come up a lot:

“trans women internalize female socialization, and thus are women and socialized as such”.

Never mind that many, many trans people don’t realize that they are trans until they are adults. Never mind that socialization does not work that way. Most of the socialization people receive is not in the form of “this is for girls and this is for boys”. It is much more subtle; for example boys get much more attention from teachers, and the teachers are unaware of this fact themselves. Never mind that the same webcomic directly contradicts its previous statement with this panel:

       

“We don’t even talk the same way to children depending on the gender we perceive them to be”, the comic correctly states.

When trans people are talking among themselves it is accepted to admit that you were socialized as the sex you were born as:

“I’m far more assertive than most girls of my personality type”, this commenter says:

And watch what happens when someone comes onto r/asktransgender to ask for clarification regarding difference between male and female brains as it relates to transgenderism. Suddenly commenters are using male and female socialization as an argument for innate, biological gender identity.

“Honestly if you’re mtf you’re raised male til you transition”, is suddenly the truth of the matter now. It seems like there are two conflicting arguments being used here, and the story changes based on what they are trying to accomplish.

So, trans people, which is it? Do transwomen receive female socialization or not? Please chime in.

Contradictions in transgender theory part 1: social constructs and female bodies

Many transgender people like to remind everyone that body parts are not “inherently sexed” and that biological sex is just a social construct. The webcomic called “Assigned male” helpfully reminds us that this is so, by stating that penises and vulvas aren’t really boy’s parts or girl parts.

We see the same sentiment expressed here:

“Sex isn’t defined by biological traits”, we are told.

If there is really no such thing as biological sex, if there are just collections of random body parts, then why do trans people keep saying things like this:

Or this entire post about wanting to have “a female body”:

“Feminine features”:

“A body of the opposite sex”:

Another person talking about a “female body”:

What are these female bodies? What do they look like? What do they have in common? Trans people are welcome to chime in in the comments!